

A Pittsburgh Handyman, With A Few Specialties...

Swing Sets Your kids want a big swing set? Buy one at the store and go crazy assembling it! And your set will be made of cedar. CEDAR SUCKS! Or let me BUILD you a new set. I use Pressure Treated lumber. My sets are *ROCK SOLID!* Your kids will be the envy of the neighborhood. Amaze Your Kids! CLICK HERE!

TV Wall Mounts! This is one job that you gotta do RIGHT! Do it wrong, and your TV could be crooked. It might even end up on the floor! Click here for some shopping tips.

Ceiling Fans! One over your bed is the BEST! One in your bathroom is good when you're damp! Click here for some shopping tips.

Gutter Fillers! Cheaper and Better than Gutter Helmet! Leaves, helicopters, and pine needles cannot get into your gutter if your gutters are already full! They just lie on top, dry up, and blow away. Includes cleaning your gutters One Last Time! Click Here.

Gazebos Gazebos are cool! Really! Shady, breezy, bug free, and cheaper than a back porch roof. Winter take-down service, too. CLICK HERE

My Shed Philosophy What? There's a philosophy on sheds? You bet your sweet bippy there is! I can assemble any shed you can buy at any store... IF you let me build it on a Solid Floor! NEVER assemble a shed right on the ground! Most floor Kits are NOT good enough! OR, I can BUILD you MY shed! It's Bigger, Better, and CHEAPER! CLICK HERE!

You Can't Sell Your Home? It's not the mortgage mess, and it's not the economy. That's part of it, of course, but that can't be all of it. You see other houses moving. Why not yours? I know WHY. I can TELL you why... CLICK HERE

ASSEMBLIES!
I can assemble computer desks, bookshelves, entertainment centers, gazebos, and paddle fans. Anything that comes with a big bag of small parts and an instruction book written by somebody who just learned English yesterday.			National Furniture Assembly Contractors Association



Curb Appeal
You've gotten so used to that old mailbox that you don't even see the rust anymore. Hey, it works. It's just a mailbox. But your guests see it. Don't think they don't, just because they don't tell you about it. What about your railings? Basketball hoop? House numbers?

		Look at these overgrown bushes. I bet the rooms are gloomy. I can cut these bushes off at the ground (no need to pull the roots), bundle them up for your trash, plant new smaller bushes, and spread some mulch. For less than $100 you can have brighter rooms, more air on breezy days, and a more attractive house.

Nobody EVER has enough storage!

I can install new closet organizers. Get more stuff into the same closet, and keep your things neater, too. You can't yell at your kids for a messy room if there's no place for them to put their stuff.	Gain attic access. How much storage space are you wasting because of that small trap door they gave you. I bet it's in a closet, above a shelf, right? You may not need to go as far as folding stairs. A bigger trap door in a hallway might be enough. Use your stepladder to get in.		Assemble a new back yard shed. If you don't like my "Bigger, Better, and CHEAPER shed (CLICK HERE), I can assemble a vinyl or metal shed. If you're trying to sell your home, these are GREAT! Hide your junk, then take this shed with you when you move.

How Much Garage And Basement Space Are You Wasting? I can install shelving, hooks, and organizers in your basement and garage. I can build you a shelf that hangs from your ceiling over your car's hood! I CAN GET YOUR CAR BACK IN YOUR GARAGE WHERE IT BELONGS!


ODD JOBS
Interior Doors Install new lever-style door knobs. Plane doors that stick. Align a door so the latch snaps into the striker plate. Cut door bottoms after new carpet is installed.	Exterior Doors Install a new door closer. Change your locks. Get new doorknobs and deadbolts, front and rear, all with the same key. Fix your door bell. Install a peep hole. P.S., Did you know there's a song about peep holes? "Peep hole... Peep hole who need peep hole... Are the luckiest peep hole in the world" ;-)		Garage Doors Replace a broken spring. Repair a broken window. Adjust a garage door opener. Install a new opener.


Laundry Hookup a washer and a dryer. Install a dryer vent. Replace the heater element in an electric dryer.	Dryer Vents! You think your dryer is getting old because it's taking longer to dry a load than it used to. But that's not the problem! A new dryer will take too long too! The problem is your dryer vent, which is clogged like a bad artery. Save money! AVOID A FIRE! I will clean your dryer vent!


Kitchen Install a space-saving under-cabinet microwave, can opener, or radio. Install an ice maker in your fridge. Reverse your fridge doors. Install or replace a dishwasher.	Bath Does your bathroom look like this? Some bathroom remodelers charge $10,000 for a complete remodel. But for $1000 you can get a new sink and faucet. And a vanity that hides those pipes. And a bigger medicine chest that is not rusty! Some older baths don't even have an outlet! How do you dry your hair?>/p>

Safety Install grab bars. Install a second handrail. Dual handrails are amazing. Child-proof your home. Child-proof Grandma's house, too.	Decorating Install mini blinds and vertical blinds. Install curtain rods. Remove wall paper. Paint. Hang pictures and shelves.		Finishing Touches Install a pet door to your basement, and he can "GO" downstairs. Install a suspended grid ceiling. Replace stained panels in an existing grid ceiling. Match a missing piece of baseboard. Cut up an old swing set for removal. Build railings on your outdoor steps.


Repairs Fix crooked cabinet doors and doors that won't stay closed. Replace bad drawer guides. Repair holes in your drywall. Caulk around your tub. I can adjust bi-fold doors so they open and close smoothly.
		Maintenance Power washing can remove green moss from bricks and cement. Lawn mowing. Snow blowing. Leaf blowing. Gutter and downspout cleaning. Gutter guards installed.

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Free! One specialty job, one coupon, and one joke every month. We will not give your email address to anybody. You can quit whenever you want. Email Marketing You Can Trust	Sample Joke From Prior Newsletter A man went to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, I just KNOW there's a monster under my bed. I get out of bed, look, see there's no monster, and get back into bed. Then I get that feeling again. I have to keep checking all night long. I haven't slept in MONTHS!" The psychiatrist says, "I can cure that. $150 a session, three times a week. It could take only two months, but it might take six months." The man replies, "I can't afford that! I'll get back to you." But he never does go back. One day, the two bump into each other at a store. The psychiatrist asks, "Well? Are your monsters still under your bed?" The man answers, "No. My handyman cured me!" "WHAT???" "Yeah. He cut my bed's legs off!"